


Cocoon

by yooodles



Series: Extended Play [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: And More Fluff, Childhood Friends, Doyoung is in a band, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Growing Up, Jaehyun wants to be a lawyer, M/M, Pining, Smut, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-02-28 08:07:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18752392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yooodles/pseuds/yooodles
Summary: In hindsight, Jaehyun should have realized that he’s probably been in love with Doyoung this entire time.





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been a collection of firsts for me. I hold it very dear to my heart and I'm happy with the way it turned out. I hope you all can enjoy it as much as I do.

The first time Jaehyun sees Doyoung, he’s in first grade and it’s halfway through the school year when a gangly, doe-eyed boy walks into class. The teacher introduces him as _Dongyoung_ , which he immediately interrupts and corrects her, stating that he prefers to be called _Doyoung_ and informs everyone that he will be joining the second graders in the class. His hair is long and uneven, covering his eyes, and his clothes are worn with overuse, but nevertheless, he stands up straight and proud in the front of the class, exuding an air of confidence Jaehyun could only dream of having.

He doesn't really pay Doyoung much mind at first, he tended to stay away from the second graders despite being in a mixed class. They were all older and taller than him, and while he’d never admit it, he was a little intimated. Then again, it’s not like he really talked to the first graders either, it was no secret that he was terribly shy and the concept of taking the initiative to talk to people and make friends was a little beyond what Jaehyun’s six-year-old brain could handle. So he looks back down and carries on colouring his picture, putting any thoughts about the new kid to the back of his mind.

It’s a few days later during morning recess when he notices Doyoung again. It’s kind of hard to miss him when he marches right past Jaehyun in the playground with a determined look on his face towards the sandbox. There are two third graders he vaguely recognizes playing in the sandbox already, and while it’s an area that Jaehyun himself would steer clear of, Doyoung walks right up to them and plants himself right in between them.

He’s a little too far away to hear the conversation, but from where he’s seated, it looks like Doyoung is trying to join them. He appears to ask them something but the two pay him no mind, sparing the briefest glance his way before focusing their attention back on digging a hole in the sand. He watches as Doyoung picks up a shovel only to have one of the third graders yank it back from it. He waits for Doyoung to do something in retaliation, yell or grab at the shovel again, but instead he just stands up with a huff, dusting the sand off his clothes and heads towards the other end of the sandbox. He promptly sits back down and begins to contently start digging by himself, the previous encounter seemingly completely forgotten.

That day at lunch, he purposely keeps an eye out for Doyoung and is surprised to find him sitting by himself in the corner of the lunchroom. He has a blank look on his face as he stares aimlessly at the wall in front of him. Jaehyun notices he doesn’t have a lunch in front of him and makes no move to buy something from the cafeteria either. He frowns at the sight, the boy was skinny enough, he had no business skipping a meal.

Before Jaehyun can stop himself, his feet are already carrying himself towards the table. He normally wouldn’t be so bold, but his mom had always taught him to always help someone in need, and right now Doyoung looked like he was in need of the other either half of Jaehyun’s ham and cheese sandwich.

He hesitantly slides into the seat across from Doyoung, nervously fiddling with his lunch bag as he waits for the other boy to notice him. It takes him a moment to acknowledge his presence, he appears to be deep in thought, but when he does, his eyes flicker over Jaehyun’s face inquisitively.

“Hi,” Jaehyun introduces himself shyly, “I’m Jaehyun.”

Doyoung stares at him with wide eyes, as trying to figure out what exactly he’s doing here.

“I’m Doyoung,” he states matter-of-factly after a pause.

“I know,” Jaehyun nods, “I noticed you didn’t have a lunch, aren’t you hungry?”

Instead of answering, Doyoung immediately looks down and begins to shift uncomfortably in his seat. He gives a little shrug but doesn’t make a move to say beyond that.

Unbothered by the lack of reply, Jaehyun reaches into his lunch, pulling out his sandwich, carefully placing one half of it on a napkin before he slides it over to Doyoung. He looks at the sandwich in confusion before looking up at Jaehyun again.

“Here,” Jaehyun says insistently, “you can have half of mine.”

He can tell that Doyoung wants to refuse, he’s fidgeting and his eyes are darting between Jaehyun and the sandwich, but eventually it seems his hunger gives in as he swiftly grabs the sandwich off the table and taking a big bite. Jaehyun watches in awe as he chews quickly, his nose and eyes scrunching up in satisfaction.

He finally seems to remember Jaehyun’s presence midway through his last bite, looking up sheepishly. “Thanks, I didn’t have breakfast,” he explains, mouth still full of food and Jaehyun feels a twinge of sympathy.

“Don’t thank me, no one should ever have to go without lunch _and_ breakfast,” he says matter-of-factly, and decides to offer Doyoung his carrot sticks as well, after all, Jaehyun had had a nice big breakfast himself that morning.

Doyoung flashes him the biggest, brightest smile at this, and Jaehyun can’t help but smile back. This only seems to make Doyoung’s eyes widen further and lips pull higher. He reaches over the table and pokes one of Jaehyun’s chubby cheeks, before quickly retracting his finger with a giggle. Jaehyun’s confused by his actions for a minute before the realization dawns on him that Doyoung had just reached over to poke one of his dimples and he flushes with embarrassment.

“Cute,” Doyoung says simply, which only succeeds in making him redden further.

They spend the rest of the lunch chatting away about school and snacks and whatever else comes to mind, and Jaehyun decides that he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his lunches with Doyoung. He makes a mental note in his head to ask his mom to start packing an extra sandwich in his lunch bag from now on.

-

It’s a week later before Jaehyun finally manages to catch up to Doyoung before he leaves for the day. The older boy had a habit of disappearing immediately after the last bell, and Jaehyun was getting a little frustrated with not being able to say goodbye to his new friend before he left for the day.

“Doyoung!” he calls out, spying the boy just before he darts out the back entrance of the school.

He sees him tense up for a moment, before turning around with a hesitant smile.

“Jaehyun,” he says softly, “what are doing here?”

“I never get to say bye to you before you leave,” he answers with a pout, “how are you getting home? Do you want to wait for our parents together at the front?”

Doyoung’s face immediately falls. He bites his lip nervously and shifts anxiously on the spot, looking like he’s could bolt at any moment. Jaehyun definitely does not want that to happen.

“Doyoung?” he asks hesitantly.

“Thanks, but you go ahead,” he snaps, and plastering what looks to be a forced grin on his face, “I usually walk home alone anyway.”

Jaehyun frowns at this, “ _Alone?_ ”

Doyoung looks down uneasily but gives a small nod, “I know I’m not supposed to, but my aunt doesn’t really have time to pick me up, and I only live a few blocks away. Please don’t tell the school.”

Jaehyun’s face falls when he realizes that this must be the reason why Doyoung is always so quick to leave once school ends.

Doyoung interrupts his train of thought, “I’m going to go now Jaehyun. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Wait!” he runs and blocks the door, “you can’t go home alone, that’s not safe. My mom can drive you home, she won’t mind.”

Doyoung immediately shakes his head, “No, I’ll be fine.”

Displeased with the answer, Jaehyun walks up right in front of Doyoung.

“I’m not leaving the school without you,” he announces with his arms crossed and his sternest glare.

“Jaehyun…” he sighs, “I don't think I should.”

He purses his lips, beginning to feel a little frustrated with how stubborn Doyoung was being. He just couldn’t bear the thought of Doyoung walking home all alone. He himself wouldn’t even dare to entertain the idea of trying to get home by himself. Jaehyun wracks his brain to try to come up with some sort of way to convince Doyoung to go along with him.

“How about you come over to my place instead? I can show you my room and we can play together,” he pleads, suddenly excited at the idea of having a friend over.

It wasn’t often Jaehyun brought someone home to play with him. He didn’t really have all that many close friends in general. Sicheng would come over occasionally during the summer, but it was really only because he lived across the street. He already had his own little group of friends that Jaehyun didn’t want to impose on.

“Please?” he tries again when Doyoung doesn't respond, making sure to widen his eyes and stick his lower lip in a what he hoped was a convincing pout.

It seems to work because Doyoung lets a small smile spread across his face, “Fine, but only because I know you’ll be lonely if I don’t.”

-

Jaehyun makes sure to invite Doyoung over every single day after. It’s easier to convince him to take a ride home when it’s already dark out and Doyoung is sleepy and stuffed full of his mom’s cooking. It takes two weeks for him to stop resisting every time Jaehyun grabs his hand immediately after class and pulls him towards the parent pickup loop.

His mother adores Doyoung. All it took was one sweet, gummy smile before she was ushering him into the car and inviting, no demanding, he stays for dinner. She makes sure to let Doyoung know how glad she is that Jaehyun’s found a friend who makes him so happy and emphasizes how he’s always welcome to come over. Jaehyun blushes and Doyoung loses some of his tenseness.

He learns that Doyoung lives with his aunt in the apartment complex by the public pool and his parents aren’t really in the picture. Doyoung doesn’t really like to talk about it and Jaehyun doesn’t prod. Instead, he focuses on introducing his impressive stuffed animal collection and arguing over what movie to watch. Doyoung usually wins.

Where Doyoung is hesitant to share, Jaehyun is happy to fill the silence with stories of his own life. He proudly explains that his parents are both lawyers and how he wishes to follow in their footsteps and lock up all the bad guys himself one day. Doyoung happily nods along to this and offers words of encouragement every once in a while. He himself is not sure what he wants to when he grows up but Jaehyun assures him that there’s lots of time for him to figure that out. He also assures him that if he ever needs a lawyer, he’s got that covered too.

Sometimes on the weekends, when they’ve stayed up late playing and Jaehyun is not quite ready to say good-bye, he’ll convince Doyoung to sleep over. After the first time, it’s easy to get him to stay, especially with the temptation of homemade pancakes in the morning and after a while, Doyoung starts packing a change of clothes in his backpack on Friday’s. On these nights, his mom will set up a little mattress on the floor next to Jaehyun’s, making sure to pile it high with the fluffiest and blankets and pillows. She makes sure to tuck them in snugly and kisses them both goodnight.

It’s also on these nights that Jaehyun will whisper to Doyoung after his mom shuts the bedroom door and try to convince him to climb into his bed because he’s lonely and it’s far too big for him to be using alone. When Doyoung refuses, Jaehyun will climb down and threaten to sleep on the little mattress with him instead. Doyoung usually gives in around this point because he knows Jaehyun absolutely serious (he actually followed through one time when Doyoung was being extra stubborn) and they both move to the big bed.

Jaehyun always tries to snuggle him, claiming that he’s warm and comfy, and as much as Doyoung protests, he always ends up falling asleep with the younger boy wrapped around him anyways.

-

 _Best friends._ That’s what Jaehyun unceremoniously dubs the two of them as after the third sleepover. Doyoung simply nods along in agreement while he busily stuffs his face with pancakes.

He’s never had a best friend before and he plans to take full advantage of all the perks that come with it. After all, he’s not too sure how long this will last. How long until Doyoung will realize there’s nothing all that special about him and find a cooler best friend. For now, he pushes the thought aside and clings harder to Doyoung’s side. If the older boy has any complaints about his constant presence, he doesn’t voice it. If anything, he appears to cling just as hard. This thought makes Jaehyun feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. He selfishly notes that Doyoung hasn’t really made an effort to get close with any of their other classmates either.

“Doyoung,” he asks quietly one night, “do you think we’ll be friends forever?”

They are lying side by side in Jaehyun’s bed and if the clock on his bedside table is anything to go by, it’s way past midnight. They’d lost track of time talking aimlessly about their favourite cartoons and his mom would probably scold them in the morning when they would inevitably show up exhausted to the breakfast table, but the question has been pestering him for a while now and he thought he might as well ask it now before he loses his nerve.

Doyoung turns over to look at Jaehyun. He’s got a bit of a funny look on his face, somewhere in between confusion and amusement.

“Why do you ask?” is all he offers in reply.

The question causes Jaehyun to snuggle deeper into the sheets in an attempt to hide his face in embarrassment. He hears Doyoung laugh gently at this.

“Because,” he mumbles half into the sheets, “I really like having you as my friend.”

“I like having you as my friend too,” Doyoung answers immediately and automatically.

Jaehyun sighs, as much as he likes hearing Doyoung say those words, he hadn’t exactly answered his question and he tells him exactly that.

“Oh,” Doyoung says, “well, forever is a long time.”

Jaehyun lets out a whine at this and looks up at the older boy a pout on his lips.

Doyoung’s expression softens, “Alright, alright, don’t start crying. _Yes_ , ok? Happy now?”

He nods enthusiastically at this and reaches over to wrap up Doyoung in a tight hug.

“Promise me we'll be best friends forever,” he demands into Doyoung’s shoulder.

The other boy squirms in his hold as he tries to break free, “Jaehyun, I can’t breathe,” but he only tightens his arms around him.

“I promise,” he wheezes out, “we’ll be best friends forever.”

Jaehyun loosens his grip but doesn’t let go.

“Mmm ok, Doyoung, goodnight,” he says with a yawn before finally allowing himself to properly rest.

He faintly hears a _goodnight_ back before he easily drifts off to sleep.

-

It doesn’t need to take years of friendship for Jaehyun to know that Doyoung is far more confident than he’ll ever be. The fact of the matter is that he’s cooler and taller and he’s never been afraid to talk to strangers or stand up to teachers. However, he can’t help but notice that his best friend has been even more outgoing as of lately. It seems like they can’t even walk down the hall of their middle school anymore without him stopping to say hi to one of his music club buddies.

Not that Jaehyun can complain all that much; he’s happy that Doyoung has found a passion for something. He still remembers the day that Doyoung ran to his locker waving the club sign-up sheet excitedly in his face. Like most things he does, he’d signed up on a whim after a poster in the main hall caught his eye.

He’d initially attempted to rope Jaehyun into signing up with him, but after a lengthy rant on Jaehyun’s part about his absolute lack of musicality and probable tone-deafness, Doyoung dropped the topic and settled with joining alone. Jaehyun had his hands full with all the extra credit assignments he'd been taking lately anyways.

Doyoung’s the one who’s always liked singing anyways. Since as far back as elementary school, the boy would always be humming a tune under his breath while he did just about anything, and they’d had enough sleepovers over the years for Jaehyun to know exactly Doyoung liked to play karaoke in the shower. And he was good too. His voice had just the perfect balance of both softness and power that Jaehyun was sure that with the right amount of practice and training, it could really be a force to be reckoned with.

As much as he encourages this newfound hobby of Doyoung’s, he is unable to stop himself from feeling a twinge of jealousy when Doyoung rejects his invitation to hangout after school in favour of meeting with a few of his new friends from music club. It doesn’t help that when Jaehyun asks him what they willing be doing that Doyoung replies vaguely with _big things, Jaehyun, big things._ He sulks the whole walk home.

It’s a week later when Jaehyun is caught off guard by the sight of Doyoung bounding down the hallway towards him. He throws himself around him, squishing Jaehyun’s head to his chest, and Jaehyun is torn between wriggling out of his grasp or hugging him back. He settles with hugging him back because it’s wasn’t often Doyoung initiated hugs and he was going to take full advantage of this rare opportunity.

Doyoung is the first to peel away and Jaehyun tentatively let’s go, curious as to what sparked his sudden outburst.

“Remember last week when I met up with a few friends the music club?” he asks and Jaehyun fights the urge to frown, “well, we’ve decided to start a band!”

Jaehyun is a little taken aback by this. It wasn’t quite what he was expecting, but then again, when had Doyoung ever done anything expected of him. He’s not quite sure how he feels about this but seeing the look of pure excitement in his best friend’s eyes as he chatters on about this _band_ has him thinking this couldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

-

Jaehyun had to admit, they weren’t bad for a middle-school band. They could hold a tune and Doyoung’s voice was as brilliant as ever. It was a few months in the making, but Doyoung had finally felt confident enough to invite Jaehyun over to one of their band practices. The other members of the band were comprised of two upper years named Yuta and Johnny, who played the guitar and bass respectively, as well as Johnny’s little brother Mark on the drums. Unsurprisingly, Doyoung was the lead vocalist, a fact that he proudly reminded Jaehyun of every opportunity he got.

Doyoung had introduced them to him a little while back and he had to admit that they seemed like a nice bunch of people, although he did find Johnny a little intimidating as much as Doyoung tried to convince him otherwise. It was also this same group of people that had occupied much of his best friend’s time that would have otherwise been spent with him. Whenever Doyoung wasn’t at his place, he was at band practice in Johnny’s garage, which lately seemed to be more often than not. Sometimes he’ll even sit with Johnny and Yuta at lunchtime, and although he always invites Jaehyun to join them, it stings a little when Doyoung spends the period laughing at their jokes and not even bothering to glance his way once.

He knows he’s being pathetic and Doyoung was very much allowed to have other friends but he misses the days when it was just the two of them and it didn’t feel like it took all the effort in the world to just get his best friend alone.

He decides to voice his thoughts one night when Doyoung has decided to sleep over for the first time in what feels like forever. They are getting a little big to be sharing Jaehyun’s childhood bed, but that doesn’t stop Doyoung from instinctively climbing in beside Jaehyun, leaving the mattress on the floor untouched.

“I miss you,” Jaehyun whispers once they’ve both settled in.

Doyoung looks at him in confusion, “What do you mean? I’m right here.”

“No,” Jaehyun sighs, “I mean, I feel like I never really see you anymore. You’re always busy with your band and it feels like you don’t ever have time for me. Am I even your best friend anymore?”

Doyoung’s brow immediately furrows at this and his mouth drops into a frown. Jaehyun knows the last question was probably a little too far, but he’s frustrated and as selfish as it is, wishes he could have Doyoung to himself again.

“Of course you are,” he states firmly, reaching over to grab one of Jaehyun’s hands into his.

He squeezes lightly and his hands are soft and warm and it makes Jaehyun feel slightly more at ease. Doyoung lets out a sigh before he continues, “I know I’ve been busy lately, but I’ve finally found what I want to do with my life and I don’t want to mess it up. You’ve known all your life that you’ve wanted to be a lawyer and because of it, you study so hard in school to be at the top of the class. I’ve never felt this drive to do anything before and I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do if I ever want to be successful.”

Jaehyun nods because he knows it makes sense when he puts it that way and he even feels a little bad for being upset at Doyoung for wanting to follow his dream. God knows nearly everything Jaehyun does himself has been in pursuit of his own future dream as well.

“And if it makes you feel any better,” Doyoung adds with a small smile, “I miss hanging out with you too. I’ll try and make more time for you.”

It does make him feel better.

“I’m sorry for ever doubting you.” Jaehyun says quietly, “Also, I’m sure you’ll be very successful one day. We both will.”

This causes Doyoung to break out into a full smile.

“I’ll be a famous singer and you’ll be a famous lawyer,” he says excitedly, “we’ll both be rich and we can live in big houses with huge backyards right next to each other.”

Jaehyun smiles back at this but something doesn’t quite feel right about this future that Doyoung’s painted.

“Or we could just live together,” he says quietly, feeling naive to even suggest it.

Doyoung just chuckles and shakes his head, “What about when we both have families, silly? We can’t possibly live in the same house.”

Jaehyun clamps his mouth shut at this before the ugly feeling inside his chest causes him to say anything else stupid. “You’re right,” he breathes through his teeth and pulls his covers a little higher over him, signalling to Doyoung that he’s ready to sleep.

Doyoung obliges with a quick _good night_ and Jaehyun drifts off to dreams of living in a big house with a huge backyard with Doyoung.

-

“Jaehyun!” his mother calls from downstairs, “Doyoung is here!”

Jaehyun stills from where he has been taking notes at his desk. _Odd_. Doyoung had told him earlier that he’d be busy all weekend with band practice. There was a local talent show coming up and they were trying to squeeze in all the extra practice they could before the showcase next week. He hadn’t been expecting to hear anything from his best friend until at least Monday, let alone have him show up at his house at 10 pm on a Saturday night.

He barely has a chance to properly collect his thoughts before Doyoung swings his bedroom door open and plops himself right onto his bed. Jaehyun turns around to yell at him for getting onto his bed with his outside clothes on but he pauses at the sight of a big goofy smile on Doyoung’s face.

“Why are you here?” he asks, “And why are you smiling like that?”

“We finished band practice early,” he explains simply, “I still need to go back again tomorrow but I wanted to see my _best friend_ in the meantime.”

Jaehyun doesn’t buy it. There’s no way that Doyoung would just pop in at this hour just to _see_ him, especially not with that idiotic smile that was still plastered all over his face.

“You’re not telling me something,” he says, narrowing his eyes, “out with it already.”

Doyoung scoffs lightly but doesn’t refute him, instead he pats the space next to him on the bed and Jaehyun wordlessly obliges by sitting down next to him.

At this point, it looks like Doyoung is about ready to burst.

“I just had my first kiss,” he rushes out in one breath, eyes wide as he anticipates Jaehyun’s response.

“Oh,” is all he can manage out as a heavy feeling settles over his chest and he fights the urge to either burst into tears or punch the wall.

There was no way he could have anticipated that _this_ could be the reason why his best friend is practically glowing right now.

“We were playing truth or dare and Yuta dared me to kiss Johnny, so I did!” he continues to explain, “it lasted five whole seconds and his lips were nice and soft. It was just as magical as in the movies.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be practicing?” Jaehyun grumbles and doesn’t even bother to hide the frown on his face.

Doyoung tries to look at him with a puzzled expression but Jaehyun can’t bring himself to look him in the eyes right now.

“We were just taking a break, we’d been practicing the whole day…”

“I don’t get why you had to come here at this our to tell me this,” he argues, “it’s late, shouldn’t you be going home instead? Won’t your aunt be wondering where you are?”

Doyoung’s face completely falls at this and Jaehyun regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth. They both know very well the answer to that question.

“You know she won’t,” he answers anyways, and there’s a sharpness in his tone that makes Jaehyun shiver.

A sense of guilt begins to flood through him and he bows his head down in shame. His home life was a sore subject for Doyoung that they rarely broached. There was a reason why Doyoung used to spend so much time at Jaehyun’s place. After a moment, Doyoung lets out a deep sigh and Jaehyun feels his friend scoot closer to him on the bed.

“What’s wrong, Jaehyun?” he questions him gently, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Why are you being like this?”

“Are you and Johnny dating now?” he blurts out, and Doyoung looks slightly taken aback.

“What? No,” he answers quickly, “it was just a game.”

This doesn’t satisfy Jaehyun. “Do you want to date him?” he continues to demand, ignoring the way Doyoung seems to have stiffened up beside him.

“Of course not,” he says, but his voice and expression are both hard to read, “Johnny could never be interested in me like that.”

Jaehyun huffs, “I don’t see what’s so good about Johnny anyways. Or kissing in general for that matter.”

“Oh Jaehyun,” he says softly, “are you jealous? Don’t worry, you’ll have your own first kiss one day too and then you’ll understand what I’m talking. I’m sure anyone would be lucky to kiss you.”

He fidgets slightly on the spot because the fact of the matter is that he is jealous, so much so that he’s surprised he hasn’t physically turned green, just not for the reasons Doyoung’s thinks. Not that he would ever even begin to try to explain his true feelings, not when he’s not even too sure of them himself.

“I don’t want it to be with just anyone,” he mumbles, “I want it to be with someone special.”

Doyoung is quick to reassure him, “I’m sure it will be with someone special.”

There was only one _someone special_ Jaehyun had in mind.

“Will you be my first kiss?” he says so quietly that he would have thought Doyoung hadn’t even heard him if it weren’t for the little gasp he makes as soon as he finishes asking the question.

Jaehyun waits for Doyoung to reply but nothing comes. He begins to panic, “I didn’t mean to say that, you don’t actually have to kiss me, I just trust you more than anyone to take my first kiss. Please just forget I said anything.”

He expects Doyoung to simply agree and they would go to bed and that would be the end of it. It’s already been a tiring enough night for both of them and he just wants to put this whole mess behind him already.

What he doesn’t expect is for Doyoung to stare at him with a contemplative look on his face that makes Jaehyun not want to look away. What he really doesn’t expect is for Doyoung to grasp both sides of his cheeks and lean in, briefly pressing their lips together for a moment before quickly letting his hands drop and looking away once again.

There are no butterflies in his stomach or fireworks exploding in the air that he thought would have come with a first kiss, yet somehow everything feels different now. He can still feel the slight warmth left on his lips by Doyoung’s and he resists the urge to touch them.

Now it seems like it’s Doyoung’s turn to panic when Jaehyun continues to sit in stunned silence, “Jaehyun I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, I just thought-”

“No,” Jaehyun suddenly interrupts his rambling, “thank you, I think I understand now.”

Doyoung gives a little nod and they both wordlessly decide it’s time for bed, unceremoniously climbing under Jaehyun’s sheets in silence. Doyoung’s hand reaches out and finds Jaehyun’s under the covers, and they fall asleep side by side, hands clasped.

They don’t talk about the kiss the next morning and everything goes more or less back to normal again. He does notice that Doyoung seems to make more of an effort to spend time with him, and even invites him out more when he’s hanging out with the rest of the band. Jaehyun tries not to give it too much thought because they’ve both got a lot on their plates right now and more important things to worry about.

Although he will admit, in hindsight, Jaehyun should have realized that he’s probably been in love with Doyoung this entire time.


	2. First Time

It’s funny how fast time goes when your lives are full and you’re working towards a goal. Jaehyun offhandedly notes to himself that it almost doesn’t matter that he’s been harbouring a crush, though he’s not sure if he can even call it that anymore, for his best friend for the better of part of the entire time he’s known him.

At the core of it, high school should have been no different, and for most of it, it really wasn’t. Their dynamic at 16 and 17 felt much the same as it did at 10 and 11. Perhaps they both have a little more pressure from their lives and their futures weighing on top of them, but if you ask Jaehyun, he’s honestly surprised by how little has changed in their relationship.

It’s better now that he’s older and a little more secure in himself, but for the longest time, he’d always expected that Doyoung would lose interest in him at one point. After all, with the way his eyes shine when he talks about his music and his band, it’s hard not to wonder what Doyoung saw in him to keep him around for so long. He didn’t like going out and all he really did was study all day, especially now that university applications were right around the corner and he wanted to hold onto his place as top of the class. Other than Doyoung, he didn’t even have many other friends. Sure, it had been long enough that he’d consider Johnny, Yuta, and Mark as his own friends as well, but they were Doyoung’s bandmates first and foremost.

They’ve had many conversations over the years that always ended in cuddles and Doyoung assuring and reminding Jaehyun of his promise that they’d be best friends forever.

When Doyoung wasn’t rehearsing with his band, they’d spend their evenings together, cooped up in Jaehyun’s bedroom. It was a nice little routine they’d developed; Jaehyun studying at his desk and while Doyoung softly composes songs next to him, strumming quietly on the acoustic guitar that Jaehyun had gotten him for his birthday a few years back. It’s no secret that Doyoung wasn’t all that invested in school, his primary focus being on his band and making music, and as much Jaehyun nagged him about it, it wasn’t uncommon that he’d miss days of class to get some extra practice in or to hang up flyers for a local show they’d be playing. Nevertheless, Doyoung assured him that it would all work out in the end, and Jaehyun was keen on believing him.

The _shift_ happens somewhere near the beginning of Jaehyun’s junior year, right around the time when he finally overshoots Doyoung in height. It’s a matter that Jaehyun is more than glad to relentlessly tease Doyoung about much to his annoyance, but he also can’t help but feel as if it puts the two of them on an even playing field now, as opposed to him simply being that lovesick younger friend who followed Doyoung around everywhere.

Ever since he joined the basketball team last year and put a little more effort into working out, under the reasoning that universities were looking for well-rounded individuals, he’s been getting more attention around the school. He’s not a fool in knowing that things have changed, that he has changed. Not only is he taller but his shoulders are broader, and his jaw is sharper from losing a lot of the baby fat in his cheeks. On top of which he still sports that killer set of dimples that Doyoung loved so much to point out.

It's no secret that he's been getting looks around the school. Both girls and boys will sneak glances at him when he walks past them down the hall and a few brave souls have even approached him in futile attempts to ask him out. If you told Jaehyun a few years ago that he would one day be garnering this sort of attention he would have laughed in your face, after all, he’s used to being in the background, it kind of came with the territory of being best friends with someone as bright as Doyoung.

Not that any of this newfound attention mattered much anyway, it’s not like Jaehyun would ever think to accept any of the advances. It tends to be hard to see the appeal of anyone else when you’ve had your heart set on one specific person for over a decade, and it’s not like Jaehyun had any time to date. His time was strictly divided in-between studies, basketball, and Doyoung, with barely room in-between to even fulfill his most basic needs like eating and sleeping.

“That’s got to be the third one this month,” Yuta exclaims in disbelief as Jaehyun casually drops yet another love letter left in his locker onto the coffee table.

The band, plus Jaehyun, is gathered in Johnny and Mark’s living room. While the original intention was for them to practice, while Jaehyun took notes from his textbook on the side, they all collectively decided that they weren’t in the mood and decided to have a chill evening instead.

“I don’t see why no one can take a hint,” Doyoung says with a scowl as he picks up the letter between two fingers and hastily throws it into the trash can next to them, “he’s clearly not interested so I don’t see why they still bother. Such a nuisance.”

Jaehyun shrugs and fights the urge to grin at Doyoung’s words. It times like these that he almost dares to think that Doyoung is more affected by his new onslaught of suitors than he is.

“You’re lucky so many people want to date you,” Mark looks up from where he’s been aggressively playing a game on his phone, “I don’t see why you don’t just give one of them a chance.”

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat at the suggestion, “You know I don’t have time to date, I need to focus on school now more than ever.”

Mark shakes his head, “It’s just a suggestion. Dating isn’t a bad thing, I think it might even help you relax a bit.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Jaehyun says curtly before glancing at Doyoung, and then briefly over at Johnny beside him, “I’ve never dated before.”

Doyoung visibly stiffens in his seat and narrows his eyes slightly at Jaehyun. His expression is a mixture of confusion and annoyance, knowing exactly what Jaehyun is referencing.

They don’t talk about Doyoung and Johnny’s relationship often, or ever really, not even when they were actually together. The two dated for a few months at the end of Doyoung’s freshman year, before promptly breaking up at the beginning of his sophomore year.

He remembers how much it had unexpectedly hurt when Doyoung offhandedly announced that he and Johnny were dating. Jaehyun was barely able to let about a word of acknowledgement before Doyoung quickly changed the topic. It was a bit of a rough year for him already, with Doyoung leaving him alone to go off and start high school. As much as he really has no ill feelings towards him, something about the fact that it had to be Johnny made Jaehyun’s insides twist.

Doyoung never really brought up the relationship after the initial announcement, perhaps having learned from that time all the way back in middle school when Jaehyun freaked out about Johnny taking Doyoung’s first kiss. Jaehyun didn’t know whether to be grateful or exasperated by this, especially after all those nights that Doyoung had texted him that he couldn’t hang out because he had other obligations. Jaehyun knew this meant he was with Johnny and as much he couldn’t fault Doyoung for spending time with his boyfriend, it had been a difficult summer for him, one where it felt like he barely saw his best friend.

It’s strange how easily things went back to normal after Doyoung informed him simply after practice one day, that he and Johnny were no longer together, about three weeks into Jaehyun’s freshman year. He didn’t elaborate beyond that fact they just decided they were better off as friends, which they seemed to continue to be after the breakup. If either of them felt awkward around the other, they didn’t show it.

For the most part, it’s easy to forget that the relationship ever happened. That is, unless Jaehyun subtly brings it up like he’s doing now. No one seems to catch on but it seems like they are both keen to move on to another topic.

“Leave him alone, Mark,” Doyoung says, almost sounding like a command, “you’re just jealous no one wants to date you.”

“That’s not true,” Mark mumbles to himself before turning back to his game.

Jaehyun meets Doyoung’s eyes and gives a little nod in thanks and apology before looking away. For the rest of the evening, he feels Doyoung’s eyes following him.

That was another thing that Jaehyun noticed lately, the staring. At first, he thought he had imagined it as a product of his years of fruitless pining for Doyoung but it had reached a point where he couldn’t simply brush it off as his own delusions.

Doyoung looks at him differently now. While it was easy to ignore when it came from the rest of the school population, he couldn’t just brush aside the way his best friend’s gaze lingered on him nowadays. On occasion, he’d even catch him eyeing him with a heat behind his eyes that makes his cheeks flush and stomach do a little flip. He’s not stupid, he knows what these looks mean, especially when he notices Doyoung giving him the same look when he runs up to him after basketball practice, still panting and sweaty. The way he lets his eyes briefly roam over Jaehyun’s body before meeting his eyes and greeting him with a practiced smile.

He doesn’t think much about it when acquaintances from elementary school come up to him and say, “Damn, you got hot,” but now that Doyoung’s been giving him the same sort of attention he can’t just ignore it and stop wondering just how Doyoung sees him now.

A part of him wonders if it’s just a physical attraction, and that same part of him fears the very thought. It’s not like he can just casually bring up _hey, I noticed you’ve been eye-fucking me recently_ , it would be bad enough if he turned out to be right, but even worse if he was wrong. Doyoung is far too important to Jaehyun for him to risk ruining their friendship over something he doesn’t even know the full extent of.

Instead, he reciprocates by being a little more touchy. It wasn’t every day that he got this much attention from Doyoung so it’s not like he can just do nothing at all. He’ll throw an arm of his shoulder or casually place a hand on his thigh when they are sitting next to each other. Doyoung gladly reciprocates without much thought, by leaning into him or placing his own hand over Jaehyun's.

Jaehyun’s always been a physically clingy person, so while this isn’t anything they haven’t done before, it’s been a while since they’ve been this close. It feels different now, Jaehyun isn’t sure if it’s in a good or bad way yet, but he is sure that Doyoung still never fails to fill his whole body with a sense of pleasant warmness whenever he was around.

-

When you get older, summer break starts to feel less like a never-ending vacation and more like a dull, hot, two months of waiting until school starts again. Especially with senior year coming up, Jaehyun sometimes wishes he could fast forward to the beginning of the semester already. He’s been trying to pass his time by studying ahead but there’s only so much learning he can do from his own bedroom.

It doesn’t help that Doyoung has been busy with the band. Ever since Doyoung graduated high school, a feat Jaehyun still isn’t how he accomplished, he’s really thrown himself into the band. They’ve started playing a few local shows in bars and small venues, hoping to snag the attention of any record labels scouts. It’s a road that Jaehyun himself would have never dared to attempt, but Doyoung is so hopeful and confident that he’ll succeed that Jaehyun can’t help but believe it too. His best friend seemed to have a special way of always getting what he wanted in the end.

Tonight starts out not that much different than any other. It’s way past midnight and Jaehyun really should be sleeping but his mind is keeping himself up with thoughts of upcoming last year of high school, university applications, and his future. And Doyoung. His best friend never really left his mind. At the rate he was going, Jaehyun couldn’t help but go back to the recurring fear that he would leave him one day.

The last thing he expects is his phone to ring, especially at this hour. It scares him out of his thoughts and he quickly moves to answer it, not even bothering to look at the caller ID in his rush.

“Hello?” he says hesitantly, praying it’s not one of those scam callers because he’s always been bad at saying no and doesn’t really have to energy for that right now.

“ _Jaehyunnie?_ ” the voice on the other line asks softly and he immediately sits up and presses his phone closer to his ear.

“Doyoung? What’s wrong? It’s 2 am why are you calling?” he quickly asks, it wasn’t like Doyoung to be up at this hour, let alone call him.

“ _I’m sorry, I know it’s late. Did I wake you?_ ” his voice sounds shaky and Jaehyun is immediately worried.

“It’s fine, I was already awake. Are you okay?”

Doyoung sighs into the phone, “ _Can we meet? I can’t stand to be in this house for any longer._ ”

While he normally would have rejected such a suggestion to meet up so late, there’s a desperation in Doyoung’s voice that he can’t just say no to.

Jaehyun makes a noise of affirmation, “do you want to come over to my place?”

“ _No,_ ” Doyoung says quickly, “ _I don't want to be indoors right now, let’s meet at the public pool in 20._ ”

With that, Doyoung hangs up and Jaehyun scrambles out of bed to get ready. He throws on a clean t-shirt and grabs his keys, not really sure what else he has to bring. He’s never snuck out before, but Doyoung’s been the cause of many other _firsts_ over his lifetime, so in a way, this isn’t anything new.

By the time Jaehyun arrives, Doyoung is already there, inside the fence and sitting at the edge of the pool with his legs dangling in the water.

“Doyoung,” he calls out and the other boy immediately whips his head around to look at Jaehyun on the other side of the chain link fence.

“Jaehyun,” he breathes out, giving him a half-smile as he waves an arm to signal to Jaehyun to come join him, “get over here.”

Jaehyun stares at fence front of him and then Doyoung in confusion, who just rolls his eyes and mimes the motion of climbing as an explanation.

It takes Jaehyun a moment to start moving, he’s mentally trying to calculate the legal consequences of trespassing but the insistent look in Doyoung’s eyes has him throwing his morals aside and hoisting himself over the fence. He joins Doyoung at the edge of the pool, cautiously removing his shoes before sitting down beside him. He nearly flinches when Doyoung leans his head to rest against his shoulder.

They don’t talk for the first few minutes, enjoying the quiet of the night and the relaxing feeling of the cool water against their legs. It’s nice but Jaehyun is antsy on the inside to find out why exactly Doyoung had called him out tonight.

Doyoung is the first to speak, not even bothering to lift his head from Jaehyun’s shoulder.

“My parents are back.”

“Oh,” Jaehyun replies because that makes sense, Doyoung’s never been comfortable around anything to do with his parents, or family in general for that matter, “do you want to talk about it.”

Jaehyun is expecting Doyoung to say no. He always says no when Jaehyun asks about them. Doyoung barely even liked to talk about his aunt and when he did, he never had a nice thing to say. As for his parents, it took until middle school for Doyoung to reveal to him if they were even alive. So it comes as quite a shock to him when Doyoung says yes instead.

“My parents left me with my aunt when I was a baby,” he starts and Jaehyun can tell by the way his leg is shaking that he’s nervous.

Jaehyun places a hand on his knee in reassurance and is relieved when he feels Doyoung relax slightly under his touch.

“They live busy lives and never wanted a kid,” he continues, “so they essentially gave my aunt money in exchange for raising me. As I’m sure you know, she never cared about me, saw me more as paycheck than anything else. This is the first time my parents have visited me in 18 years. I barely knew what they even look like beyond photographs. Did you know my mother looks just like me? Isn’t it a joke that this woman who is essentially a stranger to me looks exactly like me?”

Doyoung laughs bitterly at this and Jaehyun’s heart hurts to hear this side of Doyoung’s life. He can tell that his best friend is holding back tears and Jaehyun rubs circles with his thumb on his knee to soothe him.

“You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to,” he reminds him gently.

Doyoung lifts his head from Jaehyun’s shoulder and looks at him before shaking his head, “Thank you, but I want to keep going.”

He takes a deep breath, “They’re here because now that I’m an adult I guess I finally have some use to them. They want to stick me into some pretentious business school and turn me into another one their corporate minions. Lord knows I don’t have the grades for that, but that doesn’t seem to matter to them, they'll be able to get me in one way or another.”

Jaehyun frowns, “You can’t possibly agree to this, it’s ridiculous.”

Doyoung smiles at his reaction, “Of course not, I’m an adult now and they have no right to tell me what to do. First thing I’m going to do is get a part-time job soon and move out of aunts house once and for all. It sucks that I had to see my parents one last time but I’m ready to cut ties and finally move on with my life.”

“I’m glad,” he says genuinely and returns the smile, tears threatening to fall from his own eyes.

Doyoung’s expression softens and he moves to grasp both of Jaehyun’s hands into his own. “Jaehyun,” he says gently, “I don’t say this enough but I’m grateful to have you in my life. Everything you’ve done for me, you’re all the family I have. You’re the only family I need. Please-”

His voice breaks and Jaehyun swears he’s never seen Doyoung look so vulnerable in his entire life. He closes his eyes for a moment before collecting himself enough to speak again, “Promise me you’ll always take care of me, that we’ll always take care of each other.”

Jaehyun nods quickly and swallows the lump in his throat so that he can reply, “You know I’d never leave you. Don’t you remember, you promised me we’d be best friends forever.”

Doyoung lets out a breathy laugh and squeezes Jaehyun’s hands, still entwined with his. He lets his head fall back onto Jaehyun’s shoulder, letting out a hum of gratitude. Though he doesn’t say much, Jaehyun thinks that Doyoung looks lighter now. There’s a peaceful smile gracing his lips and he thinks he’d be content to sit by the pool like this with Doyoung all night if he wants to.

A snap of a twig in the distance jolts Jaehyun out of his reverie, nearly toppling him into the pool if it weren’t for Doyoung’s quick hands that snatch him back. His eyes shine with a look of amusement at Jaehyun’s startled state.

“What was that?” Jaehyun whispers rushedly and attempts to stand up, “We should be going back, I’m not sure it’s a good idea to stay here any longer.”

Doyoung shakes his head and holds his arm down to prevent him from getting up. “Relax,” he says, “it’s probably just a raccoon or something. I used to sneak out here at night with Johnny all the time.”

“Right,” he nods timidly but sits still anyways, “I forget how much more life experience you have than me.”

It’s always weird to think about Doyoung’s life outside of what Jaehyun sees. He hears bits and pieces of it every now and then; the parties the band gets invited to, the drunken antics, and the nights spent sneaking out. These are all things that Jaehyun himself would personally steer clear from and Doyoung knows it too, yet he can’t figure out if he’s relieved or disappointed that Doyoung doesn’t involve him in that aspect of his life.

Then there’s also the matter of his past with Johnny and how his heart clenches at the mention of their past. He knows he has no right to feel jealous, especially now that they aren’t even together. He scolds his mind for going there and hopes Doyoung doesn’t read the underlying message in his words.

Of course, Doyoung being Doyoung, knows him far too well not to pick up on it.

Doyoung scoffs, “I can tell what you’re thinking of,” but there’s no animosity in his voice.

Curiosity gets the better of him, and before he can hold his tongue, he lets the question that has been nagging at him for the past three years slip out, “What ever happened between you and Johnny?”

Doyoung laughs like he’s been expecting this to come up and Jaehyun has to urge to retract the question and change the topic like they always do. Instead, he holds his breath and waits for any sort of reply from his best friend.

“I guess since I’m already sharing so much today, I might as well keep going,” he tries to say in a joking manner, but Jaehyun can sense the underlying tone of seriousness behind his words.

“I’d share too but I think I’ve already told you everything there is to know about me,” he offers, in hopes of encouraging Doyoung to continue.

Doyoung shakes his head and lightly pats him on the thigh, not bothering to remove his hand afterwards, “I’m sure you have some secrets you’re keeping from me.”

Jaehyun immediately tries to fight the blush that he can feel heating up his cheeks. Doyoung’s right, except it’s really only one secret that he’s keeping from him. One big secret that he’s been keeping close to his chest for he can’t even remember how long anymore.

“Are you ever going to answer my original question?” he quickly deflects because for some reason he’s feeling courageous tonight.

Doyoung raises an eyebrow in surprise at Jaehyun’s sudden forwardness, but decides to answer anyways, “I don’t I ever really liked Johnny like _that_. He was the one who ended things. Said that I wasn’t invested in the relationship and would never be able to give him the attention he needed because my mind was focused elsewhere. I wasn’t too sure what he meant at the time, but I think I’m just starting to get it now. In any case, I’m glad he broke it off when he did and we are better friends because of it.”

Jaehyun wants to ask him to elaborate on what he thinks Johnny means, but he can tell by the way Doyoung is no longer looking at him and is instead focused on playing with the water with feet that the conversation is over. Still, he knows more than he did in the beginning, though he’s still not sure about how to process this new information. He awkwardly mirrors Doyoung’s actions, splashing the water lightly as he tries to begin to wrap his brain around everything his best friend has told him tonight.

Doyoung seems to sense the increasingly thick tension between them and abruptly leaps onto his feet.

“Let’s go for a swim,” he suggests hastily and immediately begins to peel off his shirt.

He was never one for uncomfortable situations so Jaehyun can’t even be surprised how quick Doyoung is to move on. Jaehyun quickly turns his head and averts his gaze when he realizes Doyoung has moved on to unbuttoning his pants.

“Come on,” he hears him urge from beside him.

Jaehyun briefly considers his options before realizing that even if he refuses, Doyoung was probably going to find a way to push him into that pool anyway. If he had to go in, he’d much rather go in on own accord. He gets up with a sigh and sneaks a glance at Doyoung who is standing with his arms crossed in nothing but his boxers, waiting for Jaehyun. He sucks in a breath at how Doyoung’s skin manages to look even paler in the moonlight. He’s long settled on the fact that his best friend is beautiful, but he somehow manages to look even more breathtaking right now, even with the impatient scowl that’s slowly forming on his face.

Jaehyun shyly slips out of his shirt and shorts, not missing the way that unlike him, Doyoung doesn’t even bother to look away, his gaze blatant and heavy, and he feels his skin heat up. Unable to stand under his stare for any longer, Jaehyun quickly jumps into the pool first and Doyoung wastes no time in following.

They swim and splash around for a bit. This part comes easy to them and it’s not long before they are both reduced to giggles as they chase each other around the pool. It’s nice, they haven’t fooled around like this in a while and it only makes Jaehyun’s heart swell for Doyoung more. Somewhere after the fourth time Doyoung tries to dunk Jaehyun under the water and he comes up a spluttering mess that the giggles stop and Doyoung suddenly goes quiet and still.

Jaehyun quickly stops his attempts at trying to manhandle Doyoung in revenge, afraid that he might have hurt him. “What’s wrong?” he quickly asks, checking for any signs of injury.

Doyoung shakes his head, a little smile forming on his lips, and he reaches forward to cup the side on Jaehyun’s face with one hand. He’s a little confused at his actions but leans into the touch anyways.

“Jaehyun,” he breathes and he’s got a funny sort of look in his eyes, almost looking like he wants to pull away.

Instead, he lifts his other hand up to Jaehyun’s face as well and gently brushes his wet bangs to the side. He should have expected that it would be Doyoung to make the first move. Jaehyun was never really the brave one in the relationship. Doyoung was always the one pushing him out of his comfort zone, and most of the time Jaehyun was better off because of it, he’d been to one to convince Jaehyun to try out for the basketball team and even dye his hair blonde for a bit last year. That look certainly garnered quite a bit more attention to him before Doyoung showed up at his home two weeks later with a box of black hair dye, demanding he dye it back.

So he’s not even sure if he’s shocked when Doyoung finally leans in and presses their lips together softly. Jaehyun instinctively moves to wrap an arm around his waist to bring him closer and Doyoung lets out a soft sigh at this. They stay like this for a while, kissing gently, neither of them moving to deepen the kiss. At this point Jaehyun isn’t sure if he’s dreaming or not because he’s imagined this moment for so many times since the first time Doyoung kissed him and it’s even better than he remembered, even better than anything he could have come up with in his mind.

When they finally break apart, Jaehyun shyly looks up at Doyoung only to find him staring at him expectantly. His head is still spinning and just blurts out the only thing he can think of.

“I’m in love with you.”

He doesn’t even have a chance to contemplate regretting saying this out loud because Doyoung’s broken out into the widest grin Jaehyun has ever seen.

“Really?” Doyoung whispers to just to be sure and Jaehyun has never nodded more quickly and suddenly their lips are attached once more.

This time they take their time to explore each other’s mouths and they kiss and they kiss until they’re both out of breath but that’s okay because Jaehyun feels like he never needs to breathe again. When they finally come up for air, Doyoung’s eyes are sparkling and he’s looking at him with so much fondness and gratitude and Jaehyun wonders if he can hear how loud his heart is beating in his chest right now.

“I think I’m in love with you too,” Doyoung says and Jaehyun eyes widen and he nearly cries out loud at the words he never thought he’d hear in his lifetime.

Doyoung smiles at his reaction and slowly nudges at him to break them apart. “We should get going, the sun's going to rise soon and if we stay in here any longer we are going to have a lot of explaining to do to the morning lifeguard on duty.”

-

None of their friends are surprised when Jaehyun and Doyoung walk into the next band practice hand and hand, or when Doyoung plants a soft kiss on his lips before taking his place in front of the microphone.

“Took you long enough,” Yuta says, lighting up with glee as he runs over to Johnny with a hand outstretched, “You owe me 50 bucks.”

“I thought it would take until at least after Jaehyun graduated,” Johnny sighs, digging out the right number of bills from his wallet, but he’s got a wide smile on his face and gives them a quick nod.

“Wait you guys weren’t already dating?” Mark asks confusedly and everyone laughs.

Truth be told, not much has changed between the two of them, just a little more hand holding and stolen kisses here and there, but somehow everything feels like it is exactly how it should be.

-

Jaehyun winces as Doyoung kicks the last of his boxes into the apartment and collapses onto the couch. He had more or less given up on helping Jaehyun properly move all his stuff in about half an hour ago, complaining about being tired, something about how Jaehyun was the strong one anyway. He tries to argue, but it just ends with him carrying the bulk of the boxes in anyways.

He slides beside Doyoung on the couch, wrapping an arm around his torso and burying his face into his neck.

“I can’t believe we’re actually going to live together,” he murmurs against his skin.

Doyoung laughs softly, “Well it’s not like I’d be able to afford rent on this place by myself.”

Jaehyun looks up and pouts, “Are you trying to say that you’re just using me?”

Instead of answering, Doyoung simply kisses him right on the pout.

A part of him had wondered if it was too soon to be moving in together, but looking back, Doyoung had practically lived in his bedroom for most of their entire childhoods so really, he couldn’t imagine any other option.

It was hard for Jaehyun to believe that he had actually reached this point in his life, a point he’d been fantasizing of since he was little. It was a surprise to no one when he’d gotten into his top choice university, but the thought that he was finally one step closer to achieving his dream of being a lawyer was an indescribable feeling. And all the while he would have his best friend, his _boyfriend_ , right by his side.

Doyoung was still chasing the dream, now playing larger venues and clubs, looking for a proper label to sign them. It had taken him longer than he’d wanted to finally get out of his aunt's house but all that mattered was that he was here now. He’d found a part-time job at a record shop to help make ends meet and Jaehyun had even managed to convince Doyoung to sign up for a few classes on music theory and composition at the university.

There were still moments that he couldn’t believe that Doyoung was actually his. That he could just go up to him and wrap his arms around him and kiss him all he wanted and tell him that he loved him. He made sure to do all of those things as often as he could, if only to double check, usually ending in Doyoung halfheartedly trying to shoo him away in annoyance. He was never successful.

“I need you to stop staring at me and let go so we can unpack,” Doyoung says, poking him in the side of his stomach.

Jaehyun lets out a long whine but manages to peel himself away.

A few hours and one dinner break (take out, because neither knew how to cook) later, they were more or less settled in. I hadn’t actually taken all that long for them to unpack. Neither had brought much, just the basic necessities; Jaehyun and his textbooks and Doyoung and his guitar. It was really all they needed because as cheesy as it was to think, as long as they had each other nothing else really mattered.

The sight of Doyoung cuddled up in _their_ sheets, on _their_ bed waiting for him to finish showering was a sight that Jaehyun could get used to. They’d briefly considered separate bedrooms when apartment hunting, but found a single bedroom to be far more budget-friendly. Also, it wasn’t realistic that either of them would want to sleep apart from each other anyway, having gotten used to sharing a bed since far before they’d even started dating.

Jaehyun joins Doyoung on the bed, crawling into the covers as the other gives him a quick hum in greeting, eyes focused on something on his phone. This doesn’t do for Jaehyun. It’s their first night in their new apartment and he wants all of his boyfriend’s attention on him. He swiftly plucks the phone out of Doyoung’s hands and places on the bedside table. He muffles any complaint he knows Doyoung is about to let out by straddling his legs and prompting covering his lips with his own.

It takes a second for Doyoung to realize what is happening, but eventually, he loses his train of thought, forgetting about his phone and kisses Jaehyun back. Doyoung was always so gentle yet precise with his kisses, naturally taking the lead to coax Jaehyun’s mouth open and explore each inch of his mouth. While lazily making out with Doyoung had to be on Jaehyun’s top 5 list of favourite activities, tonight he’d wanted more.

By the way Doyoung was gripping his hips and pulling him down to lay flush against his body, it was clear that he had the same idea. They usually end it before it gets too far, their make-out sessions never going beyond subtle grinding in their clothes. It’s not that they’ve never wanted to go further, as evidenced by both their obvious arousals after these sessions, but there’s just never been the time and place.

Doyoung is usually the one to try to take it further, slipping a hand under Jaehyun’s shirt or teasing the waistband of his boxers, but he always stops him from continuing. They’ve never been alone like this before, it’s always been in his childhood bedroom at home and Jaehyun hadn’t exactly wanted his first time to be with his parents sleeping next door. If he’s honest with himself, Jaehyun wasn’t ready then. But now, with Doyoung underneath him pulling him closer, finally alone in their own little home, he’s never been more ready to give everything to Doyoung.

Jaehyun pulls away to look down at Doyoung and feels his breath catch in his throat as he stares back at him with his red swollen lips and glazed over eyes.

“Doyoung,” he speaks, trying to make his voice as even as possible, “I want you.”

He can tell the moment Doyoung catches his meaning when his eyes widen he lets out a loud exhale.

“Are you sure?” he asks carefully, studying Jaehyun’s face for any sign of reluctance.

“Yes,” Jaehyun nods with a smile and rolls his hips down slightly in emphasis, “I’m ready.”

Doyoung lets out a low groan and what sounds like a curse under his breath. “Okay then, how do you want to do this?”

Leave it to Doyoung just openly ask like that. Truth be told, Jaehyun hadn’t really thought about how this part of their _dynamic_ would work. He’d always assumed that Doyoung would take the lead and he would just go with whatever way Doyoung wanted.

“Er, I’m not sure,” he says shyly, “whatever way you want it? I’m okay with anything.”

Doyoung looks at him for a moment, as if seriously contemplating his answer and Jaehyun feels the urge to cover his face at the thought of Doyoung imagining what he thinks he’s imagining right now.

“Okay, you’ll fuck me,” he says finally, causing Jaehyun to choke on his own breath hearing him say it so bluntly out loud.

All he can do is nod quickly and Doyoung doesn’t hesitate to reattach their lips and slip his hands into Jaehyun’s freshly washed hair. Jaehyun tries to smoothly reach out to their bedside drawer, where he hid a bottle of lube earlier, with this exact outcome in mind for tonight. Realizing what Jaehyun is trying to do, Doyoung swats his hand away and swiftly reaches over to pull out the bottle himself. He pulls back and gives him a peck on the cheek before he taps his hip lightly to tell him to get off.

Jaehyun obliges easily, climbing off of Doyoung and sits back, watching eagerly as he begins to pull off his shirt. His pajama pants and boxers follow in one swift motion and Jaehyun almost to avert his eyes before he remembers that he’s allowed to look. And look his does, taking in Doyoung’s lean body and he sits back against the headboard. Jaehyun is frozen in place as he tries not to gulp as he glances down to see Doyoung slightly spreading his legs, his cock already half-hard in anticipation.

“Jaehyun,” Doyoung calls out, and Jaehyun snaps his attention back to his face.

“Take your clothes off and get yourself ready,” he instructs, flipping open the bottle of lube, “I’m going to prep myself okay?”

Jaehyun nods obediently and watches as Doyoung squeezes a small amount of the clear substance onto his fingers, spreading his legs further apart and propping his knees up in preparation. Jaehyun quickly strips off his clothes and throws them in a messy pile next to the bed, not wanting to miss a second of the show in front of him. He watches in awe as Doyoung carefully traces his rim with a slender finger before gently pushing it inside with a shuddering breath.

Jaehyun’s own hand flies to his own cock, groaning as he wraps his fingers around his length, unable to himself from jerking off at the sight of Doyoung who is now lightly thrusting his finger in and out. Doyoung glances up and rolls his eyes at his impatience, though his expression quickly transforming into a smirk, looking straight at Jaehyun as he adds a second finger in and thrusts them both deeper with a sharp gasp.

Jaehyun can’t control the loud moan he lets out at this, hand tightening around his own cock. “Jesus, Doyoung,” he says breathlessly, “have you done this before?”

Doyoung halts his movements at the question, fingers still buried deep inside himself, and Jaehyun almost regrets asking.

“If you’re asking me if I’ve ever had sex with anyone before the answer is no,” his voice surprisingly steady, even when he decides to continue moving his fingers midway through, “if you’re asking if I’ve ever I’ve fingered myself before, then the answer is yes.”

Images of Doyoung lying in bed alone, opening himself up flood into his mind and he unconsciously quickens the pace of his own hand. He has to use all his willpower to halt his actions in fear of finishing before he even gets started. It puts Jaehyun at ease to know that this would Doyoung’s first time too. He had never been too sure of the extent of best friend’s experience, but now knowing for certain that they would be sharing this special moment together for the first time, fills him up with an overwhelmingly warm feeling.

Jaehyun focuses all his attention back to the Doyoung who now has three fingers inside himself moving them in and out quickly, little moans falling out of his mouth. His eyes are glued shut and his skin is flushed slightly red and shining with sweat as he lifts his hips grind deeper against his own fingers. At this rate, Jaehyun’s now afraid it will be _Doyoung_ who finishes too soon instead.

Without thinking, he scrambles towards his boyfriend and in-between his legs, grabbing his wrist to yank his fingers out of himself. Doyoung lets out a loud yelp at this and glares at Jaehyun in shock and offence, which Jaehyun simply ignores in favour of shoving three of his own fingers inside Doyoung in replacement and covering his lips with his own. The noise Doyoung lets out this time is a lot less indignant.

Jaehyun’s never done this before, never even fingered himself before, but all he knows is Doyoung feels warm and tight around his fingers and he wants to make him feel good. He does his best to mimic the movements of what Doyoung had been doing to himself earlier, pushing inside as deep as he can reach before pulling out again and repeating the process. By now Doyoung has stopped kissing him back and is biting down hard on his own lip. He decides to experimentally wriggle his fingers inside of Doyoung when all of a sudden Doyoung bucks his hips off the bed and lets out a loud gasp. Figuring he must be doing something right, he repeats the action only to have Doyoung’s own hand reach out and grip his to stop his movements.

“If you don’t stop now I’m going to come and I want to do that with you inside of me,” he hisses.

Jaehyun immediately pulls his fingers out in response and Doyoung lets out an annoyed whine at the sudden movement, cursing at Jaehyun’s lack of grace. He grabs the bottle of lube that he threw aside earlier and shoves it at Jaehyun. “Just get on with it,” he nearly pleads and Jaehyun is more than happy to oblige.

He squeezes a liberal amount lube onto his palm and slicks himself up, groaning at the coolness of it. Doyoung is looking up at him impatiently when he suddenly freezes and remembers something, “wait, should we be using a condom?”

Doyoung lets out the most exasperated sigh at this, “we’re both _virgins_ Jaehyun, now will you please get inside me already.”

That’s all the encouragement Jaehyun needs to move into position between Doyoung’s legs, carefully lining himself up with his hole. Doyoung is practically buzzing in anticipation beneath him, so Jaehyun wastes no time in pushing in all the way in one smooth motion. He’s pretty sure he blacks out for a moment as he bottoms out, his entire body is on fire and he doesn’t think he’s ever felt this good in his entire life. He takes a moment to savour of the feeling Doyoung wrapped tightly around him, the two of them irrevocably attached. He feels Doyoung whine underneath him and try to push his hips against him, which he takes as a signal to start moving.

For his whole life, Jaehyun thought Doyoung’s singing was the most beautiful sound in the world, but now in this moment, with the sound Doyoung moaning his name filling his ears as he thrusts into him over and over again, he realizes he’s never been more wrong.

He feels a pair of strong hands thread into his hair and pull his face down, pressing their lips together in a messy kiss. Jaehyun reaches his own hands down to grip Doyoung’s thighs, pushing them up higher towards his chest and further apart. Pleasure shoots down his spine and he knows he’s close, picking up the pace of his thrusts as he chases his end.

Doyoung comes first, unexpectedly. One moment he chanting soft curses under his breath and the next moments he’s nearly screaming out Jaehyun’s name, clenching tightly around him as he releases onto his own stomach. Jaehyun can only moan out loud in response, his thrusts faltering as his comes barely a moment later, the sight of Doyoung’s face twisted in pleasure finally pushing him over the edge.

Jaehyun continues to shallowly fuck into him as he comes down from his high, before all the sensations finally dissipate and he collapses right onto Doyoung’s body.

“You idiot!” Doyoung wheezes out and attempts to push him off with no avail, “you’re fucking heavy.”

He laughs, giving Doyoung a final squeeze before rolling off and pulling out of his squirming body at the same time.

“Ew, I can feel it leaking out of me,” Doyoung groans and Jaehyun looks down and is indeed faced with the sight of his come leaking out of Doyoung, although disgust was probably the last thing he would associate with the image.

Feeling a little sorry, and more than grateful towards Doyoung, he lets himself catch his breath for a moment longer before pushing him off the bed and heading towards the bathroom to find a towel to clean themselves up with. He returns and gently wipes the both of them down, throwing the towel haphazardly on the floor when he finishes so he can finally join Doyoung under the sheets again.

Jaehyun reaches out wraps his arms around Doyoung’s body, pulling him into a soft kiss. Doyoung sighs against his lips and the two of them just rest their lips against each other for a bit, neither bothering to go any further.

Doyoung eventually pulls away, scooting lower to snuggle his head against Jaehyun’s chest and wrap an arm around his torso.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you,” he murmurs with a yawn, “this big record label exec wants to meet with the band next week. I think he’s serious.”

Jaehyun lifts his head off the pillow and looks at Doyoung incredulously, “Are you kidding? That’s amazing!”

“It’s alright,” Doyoung chuckles, “maybe this means that soon you’ll be able to say you slept with a famous singer.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes at this but tightens his own arms around Doyoung. “I love you,” he says because that’s the only thought running through his head right now.

“Mmmm, love you too,” is the last thing Doyoung says sleepily before drifting off against his chest.

-

A few days later, Doyoung fucks Jaehyun for the first time and Jaehyun thinks the closest he’ll ever get to heaven is when Doyoung’s cock is buried deep inside of him.

“Why didn’t we do it this way the first time around?” he asks breathlessly after they finish.

Doyoung scoffs and shakes his head, “because I knew this would happen. I needed to take advantage of your ignorance and get a few good fucks for myself in there, you useless bottom.”

Jaehyun leaps up in offence and immediately climbs over Doyoung, effectively caging his body beneath him.

“I’ll show _you_ who’s the useless bottom.”

**Author's Note:**

> LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK also I'm not done with dojae and this universe! The sequel [Red](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19088284/chapters/45349270) is up, go check it out 
> 
> [♫](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Va75GaPv5jY)   
>  [twitter](https://twitter.com/yooodles)   
>  [cc](https://curiouscat.me/yooodles)   
> 


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